Problems and Disasters

The 10 Addiction Symptoms to Watch Out For
We are reprinting this article from the USA as it is a problem we all need to be aware of.

According to Dr. James Fearing of the National Counselling Centre in Minneapolis, the following are the basic 10 symptoms individuals need to look out for:
  1. No Limitations: A demonstrated "loss of control" when trying to stop or limit the amount of time on the computer. (Breaking promises to self or others. Promising to quit or cut down and not being able to do so.)

  2. Lying: Being dishonest or minimising the extent of the time you stay on the computer, or covering up or being dishonest about what activities you participate in when on the computer.

  3. Harmful Results: Negative consequences experienced by the computer user or his/her friends or family as a direct result of time or activities spent on the computer.

  4. Improper Behaviour: Participation in high risk or normally unacceptable behaviou
    " Promising to quit and not being able to do so is a sure sign of some form of addiction ..."
    rs when using the computer. Compromising your morals and values based on the opportunity to remain anonymous and protected on the computer (a good test for this is to ask yourself if your spouse, partner or family would approve of what you were doing on the computer).

  5. Misplaced Priorities: An overdeveloped sense of importance for the computer in one's life. Defending your right to use the computer as much as desired, regardless of the fact that people in your life are feeling left out and neglected (denial of the problem and justification; not being able to hear or feel what the other people are saying regarding your computer behaviour).

  6. Rapture: Mixed feelings of euphoria (a "rush"), combined with feelings of guilt brought on by either the inordinate amount of time spent on the computer or the abnormal behaviour acted out while using the computer.

  7. Despair: A feeling of depression or anxiety when something or someone shortens your time or interrupts your plans to use the computer.

  8. Fixation: Preoccupation with the computer and related activities when you are not using the computer (thinking about the computer and its activities when doing something else; i.e. having a family dinner, working on a project, etc.).

  9. Escapism: Finding yourself using the computer at times when you are feeling uncomfortable, irritated or sad about something happening in your life. (i.e. If you are feeling uncomfortable in your relationship, you will self-medicate and "hide out" on the computer.) Using time on the computer to become externally focused outside yourself as a way to evade what's happening in your life, and avoid feeling the appropriate emotions inside yourself. (Self-medicating.)

  10. Excessive Spending: Experiencing financial concerns or problems in your life as a result of money being spent on computer hardware, computer online charges, or any other costs associated with computers. (Spending money on computer related items that should have been allocated to other normal living expenses.)
    If you recognize at least one of these symptoms, you may have a problem with computer addiction. If you recognize more than two, you are demonstrating a pattern of behaviour that would suggest that you are addicted to your computer and/or the activities on it.

Dealing with Divorce
Divorce can be costly, but it does not have to result in financial ruin. Both parties need to keep a level head in order to get through this difficult time. There are 3 things that occur in any divorce:

  • It’s an emotional, distressing time for all.
  • Your finances will be scrutinised.
  • Your emotions and finances will be difficult to manage at the same time.

There are ways to effectively handle your finances so you don’t “drown” during and immediately following a divorce. Statistics show that about half of all marriages end in divorce, so there is a lot of information available on this subject.

It would be a good idea to have an amicable and peaceful divorce settlement, if possible. This will mean you and your spouse have to sit down and agree on the settlement details and the sooner you can finalise the details, the more you will save in time and money. If you can't work out things on your own, you may have to look at mediation or arbitration.